How Do We PROTECT Our Children When We’re Not There?

Protecting children from the inside out

If Polio existed today, would you follow your kids around saying, “Don’t touch that!  Don’t go there! Stay away from those people!” No, of course not. You would get them the polio vaccination... because it prevents infection from the inside out. It protects them from polio even when you are not there to watch over them.

We spend a lot of time running around trying to keep our children from being exposed to people or things that might harm them physically or emotionally. As if that is going to do the job.  As if we think that’s enough. It is not enough. How do we protect our children and prepare them for today’s world when we can’t be with them every moment of every day? We need to think of protection just like a vaccination: from the inside out.

In past generations, homes were well-insulated from outside influences. Today, we must fight the negative elements that invade our homes through TV, the internet, music and smart phones. We are just as busy fighting wars inside our homes as we are outside. Our weapon of choice is rules. We tell our children, “You can’t listen to that music! I don’t want you watching this movie! You can’t go to those websites...” without realizing that shielding them from negative influences will never be enough.

A good family life protects children

Children need a safe and loving environment to learn how to behave in the world and a structure that introduces and reinforces values on a day-to-day basis. When we feel safe, loved and valued for who we are, we are open to learning from those who give us that sense of security. We gain the confidence to stand on our own two feet and make good choices in life. Many parents are unaware of what their older children are seeing, hearing or doing. We’re clueless about what to say and how to start those tough conversations. How do we create a family structure that will protect our children and increase their chances of becoming happy, responsible adults in the future?

Protective Factors

Family science researchers have studied “protective factors” for many years — those things that inoculate our children from negative influences:

1.  Direct and clear communication

2.  Intentional quality time spent together

3.  Family rituals, traditions and memories

4.  Shared values and beliefs

5.  Lots of love and affection

What happy families have in common

Strong, happy families talk about what’s important and spend time together having fun. They find reasons to celebrate, create memories and build loving connections. These protective factors hold true regardless of family income, social status, race, ethnicity or religion. They hold true for families in urban, suburban and rural areas, within the United States and throughout the world. They hold true for traditional two-parent families, and even more importantly, for single-parent families as well. These protective factors also help families get through little daily hassles and big traumatic events. They produce the kind of family life that we all want to experience, and they create family legacies that live on for generations.

Strong families internalize strong values

When our children are young, they look to us for answers. If our children haven’t internalized a strong set of values and learned to make good decisions based on those values, they are easily swayed by those around them. There is a huge difference between behaving well because we are afraid of getting caught and behaving well because we know it is the right thing to do. Many parents focus on controlling behavior now instead of thinking of the long-term effects. If all we do is restrict our kids, monitor them and make decisions for them, they appear to behave well for the moment. But the minute they escape our watchful eye they often go wild and act irresponsibly.

The “why” of good behavior

Our real job is to teach our kids the “why” of good behavior until the “why” becomes a part of who they are. We help them build an internal compass that guides them when we are not there. We do this by giving them opportunities to make simple choices (such as clothes or activities) when they are young. We let them know they are responsible for their choices, and we trust them to learn from their mistakes and make better choices in the future. If we’re always rescuing our kids or fixing things for them, they will never learn how to make good choices for themselves.

The internal compass

When people have a good sense of what it means to be honest, responsible, caring and when they have been given the opportunity to learn to trust their own judgment, they will look inside for answers instead of looking outside. The smartest thing you can do to protect your children is to help them develop an internal compass they trust. It protects them from the inside out.

3-IN-1 FAMILY FUN

Research tells us that the three most important things HAPPY FAMILIES do are: 

FAMILY TALK - Sit down to meals and talk about REAL life: share feelings, solve problems, and celebrate victories. 

FAMILY FUN - have fun together and build loving relationships by playing board games, riding bikes, crafts, cooking, etc. 

FAMILY MEMORIES - celebrate life with holiday activities & family traditions for happy memories and close family ties.

3-IN-1 FAMILY FUN products have been developed to deliver all those benefits in one simple activity. Our most cherished childhood memories usually revolve around the holiday traditions we celebrate as a family. The fact that we repeat these traditions over, and over, is one reason why they stick with us, but it's also because they involve so many of our senses: festive decor, yummy food, fun activities, and relaxed time with people we love. If you want your children to adopt valuable mindsets and remember important life lessons, the easiest and most effective way is to weave them into holiday celebrations and family traditions. The positive associations and the repetitive nature of those holiday activities make them a part of who we are - and will do the same thing for your children. That's what 3-IN-1 FAMILY FUN is all about. Meaningful activities designed around monthly holidays to create the important conversations, activities, and memories that will help you build loving relationships and strong family ties, all while teaching your children twelve critical mindsets that lead to happiness and success. 

Here are some examples of the kinds of monthly 3-IN-1 Family FUN products that you can purchase at www.10MinuteParent.com. These are for Halloween and Honesty.

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