WORK/LIFE BALANCE: Is it Fair to Expect Employers to Fix a Problem They Didn’t Create and Can't Control?

Concerned Executives

Yet a roundtable of top HR executives from some of the largest corporations in the United States admit that, after decades of on-site childcare, flexible hours, massages, gyms and yoga classes, telecommuting, and other work/life balance services, parents are still experiencing high levels of guilt and stress.

Do extra benefits balance out the extra hours?

Yes, some of us may be working a few more hours a week than we did twenty years ago, Recent surveys indicate, however, that this extra work we take home is not something we necessarily have to do, but something we choose to do because we want to look good and keep our jobs. To be fair, more businesses are trying to help their people save time and make it easier to take care of family obligations with flex scheduling and telecommuting, as well as on-site childcare, gyms, doctors. and pharmacies. For many employees, those benefits outweigh any extra hours they may put in that help keep their company going and their families fed. Work doesn’t seem to be the biggest reason we feel so out of balance.

Blurred boundaries go both ways

Yes, technology has blurred the boundaries between work and home, which means we are getting work-related emails, texts and phone calls in the evenings and weekends that we feel obligated to respond to. Again, our natural reaction is to take care of them immediately so that we appear dedicated to our jobs. Some employers, in response to this added stress, are already implementing policies to discourage these after-hour invasions. But the blurred boundaries work both ways. We’re using more work time to text our kids, spouses, and babysitters, make doctors’ appointments, carpool arrangements, or a quick purchase online. We also take time off for school programs and doctor visits. Don’t forget social media platforms. We all know what a distraction that is. Technology is taking up a good chunk of our time, but it’s still not the biggest problem we have that makes work/life balance so difficult.

Superficial strategies and temporary tactics

Most of the advice we hear from work/life balance experts appears to be ineffective because it doesn’t get at the heart of the problem. We keep dancing around the real problem that no one wants to talk about with all kinds of superficial strategies and temporary tactics. The reason behind most of our busy-ness is important. It’s why all these great work/life balance concepts that make sense aren’t working. We have a natural tendency to work harder and stay up later, and try to get more done, simply because we don’t feel comfortable slashing important things off our to-do list. We don’t want to let go of many of the tasks that are making our lives crazy. In fact, we haven’t even considered eliminating the things that are really at the heart of the problem because our hearts are at the heart of the problem.

The heart of the problem

By that I mean our children. Nothing is more important to most parents than being a good parent. And the kids’ TO-DO list just keeps getting longer. This is the real problem. We are surrounded with so much information about how a good parent behaves that it is difficult to know what to believe or how to parent. There are also so many opportunities to choose from that we believe will help our children be more successful in life that we don’t want to say no to any of them. And last, but not least, expectations about being a good parent are totally out of control.

Parenting is the new competitive sport

It’s not surprising that parenting has turned into a competitive sport like everything else. We work hard to be the “perfect” parent, and we work even harder to give our children the “perfect” childhood, free from rejection, disappointment and frustration, and full of every activity and opportunity that might possibly enhance their future. This never-ending race to perfection is exhausting and stressful for both parents and kids, but we can’t stop because we want to win. We want to be good at it. We want our kids to succeed in life and be happy. We don’t have time to sort through the endless advice on parenting, so we end up being influenced by whatever media and marketing happens to come our way. We don’t even have time to stop and think.

The self-esteem fiasco

How did we become so obsessed with parenting? Little by little, parenting experts, teachers, social media influencers, and marketing executives have led us to believe that we should be doing everything FOR and WITH our children. Self-esteem is the magic bullet, and it is our job to MAKE our children happy, GIVE them self-esteem, and CREATE success for them. It’s an impossible job, which is why we are so stressed-out and exhausted. But the self-esteem movement that inspired this style of parenting now appears to have been based on nothing. No substantial scientific studies with any kind of significant results. Nothing. Anyone who has been in a long-term relationship already knows that you can’t make someone happy or give them self-esteem. You can’t create success for them. They need to do it for themselves — and so do our kids.

We don’t like what we see

Many parents today are more educated about parenting than previous generations, and they spend so much more time with their children than our parents did: entertaining them, coaching their sports teams, and helping with their homework. Yet 50 percent of Americans think they are doing a poorer job parenting than their parents. Why? Perhaps it’s because we aren’t exactly pleased with the results. Although every generation has its share of spoiled, lazy, ungrateful, irresponsible, and disrespectful children, there seems to be more of them now. A lot more. And they’re no fun to live with. They talk back to teachers, they’re too busy to do chores, they don’t give your needs a second thought and they feel they have the right to question every decision you make. They sit on the sofa playing video games while you run past them, picking up things with one hand and holding a baby in the other. They ask you to get them a drink. You say you’re busy and their response is, “But you’re closer to the fridge, so why can’t you do it?”

Why parents hate parenting

It’s no wonder parents complain about how much work it is to parent and how little joy they get in return. We’re overwhelmed and exhausted. There’s no time for us. Our kids don’t seem to appreciate all the work we do for them, nor do they give the slightest thought to what we might like or need. It’s all about them. Parenting is no fun because we’re not parenting anymore. We’ve become slaves to our children’s self-esteem and college applications. In our heart of hearts, we know that we are not doing what we should be doing to prepare our children for life. That’s why we feel guilty. Of course, it easier to blame work. Then we don’t have to do anything to solve the problem we don’t know how to solve. But is it fair to expect employers to fix a problem they didn’t create? No, It’s not.

Which means it’s on us parents to find a solution. And that solution is REAL-LIFE Parenting. You’ll learn how to focus on the important things that really matter (HAPPY FAMILY HABITS) and ignore all the other activities (DIZZY BUSY DOZEN) that not only waste time, energy, and money, but prevent your children from growing into confident and competent adults.

What is REAL-LIFE parenting?

REAL-LIFE is a new parenting style that’s getting a lot of attention from parents who are tired of exhausting and overwhelming parenting strategies that don’t feel right, don’t seem to be working, or do more damage than good. REAL-LIFE is a balanced way of parenting that respects the needs of parents and children. It’s about being REAL, being REALISTIC, and preparing kids for REAL LIFE. To learn more, click below.

What does a REAL-LIFE Parenting Member get?

The REAL-LIFE Parenting Membership offers a surprisingly simple step-by-step SUCCESS PATH that can transform your family life from chaotic and stressful to balanced and fun. Click below and you will see the SUCCESS PATH, Trackers, LET’S TALK Conversation Starters, MINDSET Mini-Tools, 3-IN-1 FAMILY FUN Bundles, and other benefits that are included in this $14/month membership program.