PARTNERS in PEACE Mini-Tool for EMPATHY

Partners in PEACE:  Unless someone or something is getting hurt, jumping in to referee a dispute between your children is usually a huge waste of time. (1) Kids often argue because they are bored or because they want your attention. Rewarding fighting with attention will only bring about more fighting. (2) If you didn’t see what happened, it’s hard to be sure who’s telling the truth. So, it’s impossible to make any kind of judgment. They know, and that’s why they are the only ones who can really resolve the dispute. (3) Kids need to learn how to resolve differences on their own, and that takes lots of practice. Family is where we feel safest, emotionally, because we are stuck with each other. We can make mistakes and not worry about losing someone’s love.Sit everyone involved down and tell them that if they can resolve the argument on their own in _____________ minutes, they will be rewarded with: ____________________________. Give them each a pen/pencil and a PARTNERS IN PEACE card to fill out. Explain that it “takes two to tango,” and that disputes are rarely one person’s fault. Everyone adds to the “fire,” and it’s possible to walk away from someone who started it. Help the young ones fill in their cards.