LET'S TALK about RESILIENCE Conversation Starters

Life is one big experiment. Toddlers have no problem failing - over and over again - as they learn to crawl, stand up and walk, or stack blocks. They are not saying to themselves, “What an idiot! You’ve fallen twice now. What a loser! You’ll never figure this out.” No, they are probably thinking, “Wow, this is fun. Look what I just did! If I keep trying, I’ll get there.” And they do. Until their parents (or other adults) start teaching them that failing is a bad thing, something to be avoided at all costs. This is exactly how those negative thoughts get programmed into our minds that can limit us for the rest of our lives.
 
The fear of failing is a mindset that adults (parenting experts, teachers, administrators, and other professionals) have convinced parents to teach their children over the last couple of decades. As the self-esteem movement gained momentum and everyone assumed that helping children avoid negative feelings would build their self-esteem, failure became a word - and an experience - that we all try to avoid. Yet, if you pick up any book on success, you will find one strong, common theme. Failure is a necessary part of success and the sooner you get comfortable with failing, the quicker you will succeed. 
 
Every time a parent steps in to help, rescue, or solve problems for their child, they are handicapping them, robbing them of critical life experiences they need to become resilient. This is important to understand. They are sending the subtle message that they don’t believe their child is smart enough, resourceful enough, or emotionally strong enough to manage a situation or solve a problem. How is that for negative programming? It’s the opposite of what parents want to accomplish; build self-esteem. Use these conversation starters to help your children develop the kind of self-talk that leads to happiness and success.